Selina Pratelli
counsellor and psychotherapist based in central Guildford and online
“When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves” – Viktor E Frankl
I believe that with the right support everyone can improve their frame of mind, better face their individual challenges and achieve a more balanced and fulfilling life.
I am an integrative counsellor which means that I draw on various approaches to therapy depending on your individual needs. I will listen carefully to your experiences, offering a calm and reflective place to work through your particular issues.
I will not offer judgment, but compassion and understanding, while I help you to uncover aspects of yourself which may be just out of your awareness. In this way we can re-frame your experiences and help you cope better with what life brings.
How can counselling help?
We all have times in our lives when experiences or circumstances can throw us off-balance and make daily life hard to cope with. Sometimes this is a major event or life-changing circumstance, sometimes a more gradual onset of low-mood, depression or anxiety. This is when it can be helpful to talk to an objective but compassionate professional who is not part of our day-to-day life.
If you are feeling depressed, anxious or confused these feelings can become overwhelming and having a safe place to unburden yourself and be heard and understood is the first step towards feeling better.
Perhaps this is a time of significant change in your life and feelings of low self-esteem or loss of identity might be present. I can help you work through these feelings, putting things in perspective and unpicking what is really important to you.
Working together, let us explore the difficulty or crisis which brings you to therapy. This is a time where you can allow yourself the time to work through difficult emotions and move forward at your own pace with your life with a renewed sense of purpose and clarity.
People come to me for help with a wide range of issues. Some of the issues I deal with are:
Most of us have periods of our day or our week when we feel disheartened or disappointed and we respond to these in our own way, recognising that they are transitory and that it is unrealistic to be cheerful and comfortable at all times.
However, if the lows start to outweigh the more balanced times, if you stop enjoying the things that usually give you pleasure or if our feelings of sadness start to feel overwhelming then you might benefit from giving yourself the space to explore what might be behind these complex feelings and find ways to regain a sense of equilibrium.
Temporary anxiety which is in proportion to a worrisome situation can usually be overcome or got through with a range of coping mechanisms which we develop over our lifetime. In fact anxiety can keep us safe, reminding us of present dangers. Harder to deal with is when this anxiety becomes prolonged or seems out of proportion to the threat encountered.
Therapy is a space where we can explore how to manage the strong feelings and explore some of the triggers and better understand what lies behind the fears.
By life transitions I mean moving from a different phase of our life to another, this could be from adolescence to adulthood, leaving home, transitioning from education to a working life.
It could be becoming a parent, and later experiencing the difference when our children fly the nest.
Retirement is another major life transition when we might again question our identity, what we have to offer, how we would like to live our best lives now working life is behind us.
In all these examples there is an implicit ending which we might grieve but also the prospect of a new beginning to be explored and, with time, embraced. Therapy can help us process these complex feelings and move forward.
Many women, typically in their 40s and 50s begin to experience changes to their wellbeing that manifest in myriad different ways.
One of the many symptoms that can occur is an increased feeling of anxiety or worrying about things which didn’t used to trouble us. It can be accompanied by a feeling of loss of direction and identity, as well as a myriad of physical discomforts.
It can be helpful to share this experience and explore complex feelings which can accompany this phase of life.
These could include close family relationships which are under strain or undergoing transition, through to separation or divorce.
Opening up to someone not in your immediate circle with no connection to the parties concerned may help to gain perspective and unpick what is working and not working in a relationship and understand where you would like the relationship to go from here.
The loss of someone close to us can affect us in very different ways. There is no right way to grieve. I offer a place without judgment where I can bear witness to your feelings around the deceased, the world they have left behind, and how that world has changed for you.
Grief can be complex, sadness can be accompanied by anger or regret, relationships with family members and close friends may be impacted in unexpected ways.
A safe space to reflect and work through your grief can help you come to terms with your loss and move forward in your own time.
I have training in supporting clients who have, or suspect they might have ADHD and/or are on the autistic spectrum.
Do you sometimes find it hard to acknowledge your own worth and achievements? Whilst not uncommon, an inability to see yourself in a positive light can hold you back in many ways.
Setting aside a time to consider your values and beliefs, in the presence of an unbiased and supportive therapist, to unpick where those beliefs might come from and perhaps to question them, can help you to move towards a better understanding of yourself, and a more balanced view of your own worth.
Much social anxiety stems ultimately from a fear of judgment by others, a fear of being hurt. Exploring these feelings and where they stem from can help alleviate some of these fears.
Issues at work can be a huge source of stress and anxiety: exploring how best to deal with circumstances often beyond our control can help to counter feelings of disempowerment and frustration.
Relationships at work can be complex and difficult to navigate - a space to consider these in a neutral environment could help you to work through issues in a considered way in accordance with your own values.
"You ask questions that make me think deeply about what it is that I want out of life."
Speak in confidence
I believe effective therapy adapts to each person’s individual needs and it is crucial that you feel completely comfortable with your chosen therapist.
I offer a free 20-minute telephone call to discuss your situation and help you decide whether my approach would suit you. Please contact me if you would like to arrange a call.
Sessions and fees
Sessions are usually weekly, lasting 50 minutes and cost £65 per session.
Therapy works best when conducted on a regular basis. I will reserve a weekly slot for you and ask that 48 hours notice is given if for any reason you cannot attend. For cancellations within the 48 hours I will try to offer you another appointment in the same week, but cannot guarantee this will be possible.
I’m based in Guildford and see clients from the surrounding area. Sessions can be held face-to-face or online
Contact me
Feel free to contact me if you have any questions about how psychotherapy/counselling works, or to arrange an appointment. You can also call me on 07771 710078 if you would prefer to leave a message or speak to me first.
All contact is strictly confidential and uses secure phone and email services.
Experience
In addition to my private practice I volunteer on a regular basis at a mental health charity. Here I counsel clients with a wide range of presenting issues including anxiety and depression, low self-esteem, chronic pain, employment problems, parenting challenges, trauma and abuse.
Prior to my counselling career, I have had varied professional roles, initially working in investment banking before taking a break to bring up a family. In recent years, I have worked in a primary school supporting individual pupils and I then re-trained as a counsellor.
When not in the therapy room you’ll find me walking my dogs in the fresh air of Surrey and Dorset.
Training and Qualifications
- Level 4 Diploma in Therapeutic Counselling
- NCFE CACHE Level 3 Award in Counselling Skills and Theory
- BACP/OU Online Counselling Course
- NICABM Working with Anxiety
- NICABM Working with Traumatic Memory
- BA Hons Modern Languages (French and German)
- Certificate in Neurodiversity - ADHD & Autism
©Selina Pratelli Psychotherapy and Counselling
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